Well a big shout out to the blog followers! In admitting I needed to work harder at being the “New Kid”–I devised a plan and actually DID IT. So thank you!
My morning started off a little rough, I drove all the way to the Moms’ Group meeting place just to discover NO ONE WAS THERE. Now, last week someone had mentioned an email going out changing our meeting place to a local park because the weather was amazing–I didn’t receive it–it didn’t matter because Baby T wasn’t feeling good so no harm, no foul. Realizing I never received said email I checked to make sure the group leader had my correct email–she did. So feeling vulnerable (since being the “new kid” is already hard enough) I went a little overboard when I realized I had not received an email, so OBVIOUSLY they were excluding me (what can I say–I’m a bit of a drama queen). I marched out of the meeting space, stomped back to my car and gave myself a few minutes to fume. If you’re a mom you know what a pain it is to wrangle a child into their car seat and out again, only to realize you have to do it again only five minutes later–compound that with feeling left out and I was pissed.
After a few minutes of being crazy mad, I remembered I had the leader’s number–so I texted her. She replied almost immediately with the location and directions and we were on our way (This was only after going back and forth with myself about stomping my feet and not going–surely that would “show them”).
I marched onto that playground with Baby T in-hand and was determined to make this day WORK…I was determined not to let a little hiccup disrupt me from kicking butt on my plan to be AWESOME at being the “new kid“. First thing was first, I said my obligatory hello’s and walked right up to the new mom from the week before and told her I admired her strategy and that I couldn’t believe I didn’t do that. Just admitting how hard it had been to meet people opened up a conversation with her and it turns out she (the outgoing new mom) was having trouble too! Ah-ha-What? So clearly it wasn’t just an isolated problem I was having. I instantly felt like way less of a loser. (Although now that I think about it, another mom at the group mentioned how hard it was to break in to the group because of the type of town we live in ie: everyone knows everyone and grew up here.) We came to the conclusion that us “new kids” have to stick together–she even said we should totally get together–plus she knew what Baby T’s amber teething necklace was–enough to ask about how it worked and get my opinion on it–so clearly it was meant to be! LOL.
While she was off tending to her kiddos, I made my way over to the next mom and did the same (maybe to a lesser extent) I tried really hard to engage them (even admitting to our spider problem we’d been having in the basement, and I may have mentioned that we used to live with my parents: two things I was trying to avoid talking about at all costs) And you know what…that darn baby of mine kept getting in the way. Couldn’t he understand that I was rocking this “new kid” thing? Why did he have to choose just then to decided to try and go down a monster slide on his own? Damn kid. LOL.
Well–as group disbanded and Baby T was on the verge of a meltdown–I decided I had to zone in on the mom I mentioned in my previous “mom post” who lives literally up the street from me and had previously offered we have a playdate at the park (she just happens to be the mom who mentioned how hard it was to fit-in here! Perfect, right?) We were previously chatting during group but it was now or never to get her number. I just bit the bullet and walked right up to her and said “So we should totally get together sometime at the park–I keep meaning to get your number.” IT WAS SO EASY–and she was so receptive saying she kept meaning to do the same–WHY THE HECK DID I HAVE TO MAKE IT SO HARD? Seriously, that was ALL ME making a mountain out of a molehill. DUH!
So now we will tentatively have a play date next week–and I will plan to get the “outgoing new mom”‘s number too. So that’s two new mom friends in a matter of a couple hours of putting myself out there.
We make things so much harder than they have to be–for the sake of self-preservation. Why does the fear of being rejected stop us from doing simple things like asking for a phone number?
I went home feeling accomplished, proud and like I just totally ACED being the “New Kid”!
PS: The leader had my email address typed in wrong…it was off by one letter. She must have retyped it directly into the email rather than copy it directly from the text…so again…I was just overreacting.
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