Being Beautiful for My Son

As you may know, even prior to Baby T I struggled with my weight–and while I am working on it, I have to continuously remind myself to watch what I say about myself because this kid is A SPONGE.  I constantly catch myself walking by a mirror and making a face, or remarking to my husband about how fat I look and it’s GOT TO STOP.  I need to remember that Baby T is soaking it all up.  Here’s the problem.  If I don’t start to change the way I view myself, my son may start to believe that beauty and weight go hand-in-hand along with weight and self-worth: and that is simply not true.

Since I do not have a crystal ball and cannot see into the future to determine whether or not Baby T will have a weight problem–I need to watch my mouth.  Since I cannot see into the future and figure out what he will find beautiful and attractive (physically)–I need to watch my mouth.  Because I do not want him to correlate beauty and self-worth with weight–I need to watch my mouth.  Because I want him to be confident in who he is and his own body–I need to watch my mouth.

I want him to now that weight doesn’t define a person.  I want him to be a compassionate person and a gentleman who KNOWS that beauty is not solely determined by appearances.  I want him to be confident and LOVE himself–no matter what.

Well–we all know that leading by example is the most effective way to teach our children.  If I want him to know that his mama is beautiful inside and out (regardless of my dress size)–I better start acting that way.  When I look in the mirror and feel down on myself I need to respond by saying “Hey stretch marks, I love you” “Hey scale, you don’t own me.  I’m still beautiful.”  If I want him to believe those things, I need to believe those things.

Note: I am sure my struggle with weight will continue (for a bit anyways) and I am not saying that I will stuff my face with cake, get heavier and keep telling myself I am beautiful–because I want my son to learn and follow healthy habits–but certainly my struggle can teach him something more about perseverance and self-love in the face of adversity.

So here’s the plan.  Each morning I’ve been trying to take a good hard look at myself in the mirror and say the following: “You are beautiful and you are AWESOME.”  So far–it’s working.

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7 thoughts on “Being Beautiful for My Son

  1. : ) Glad to hear you’re doing BOTH good things: Yes, it’s how we see ourselves AND how we TREAT ourselves that convey the message that children–and everyone else–hear: I’m lovable…and I’m taking care to love me by eating healthy foods in healthy amounts….and I’m loving myself even when I’m NOT at my very best; that’s when it’s most important to remember, perhaps! : )

  2. as the mom of a 4.5 yr old son and a teenager, your words really spoke to me. our “self-talk” soooo influences how our little shape their views. i’ll be featuring this at the sunday parenting party at crayon freckles.

  3. Having a little girl, I consider this extremely important. I have always had body image issues and formerly had an eating disorder, but I am determined that she will feel good about her self and her body. Thanks for sharing!

  4. I think it’s great that you want to set such a great example for your son. You’re right in that he does learn from you.

    Question, why do you have a scale at all? You know when you’ve put on some weight or lost it. It’s just a number no? If you didn’t have it, it might be one less thing to worry about. Just an idea.

    All the best to you on your journey and thanks for sharing it with us.

    I’d love it if you linked up to my weekly BlogLovin Hop (http://www.journeysofthezoo.com/search/label/BlogLovin%20Hop).

    Looking forward to connecting further.

    Besos, Sarah
    Blogger at Journeys of The Zoo

    • Thanks for commenting, Sarah! I’ve only owned a scale in the last few years because sometimes I find myself being dishonest with myself (no one ever wants to admit that they’ve made a mistake). The real reason I own a scale is to track my Weight Watchers progress–but I certainly don’t weigh myself everyday. While I am working on loving the body I’ve been blessed with–it’s really important to my health that I drop a few pounds (and by a few I mean like 50)–so alas, a scale is part of my daily life. I’ve been working on trying to figure out that BlogLovin site–but yes, consider yourself followed! Thanks for visiting!

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