So I’ve been out of touch lately, partly because I’ve been lacking inspiration but mostly because I’ve been lacking energy. About a week ago, I realized that I haven’t been sleeping well (ie: laying awake for hours while sleep alluded me), was lashing out at my poor patient as-ever husband and feeling like I had “lazy-disease”. With an annual physical looming I tried to remember how long it had been like this–what scared me the most was that I couldn’t remember. I couldn’t pin-point how long the insomnia (if you could call it that) had been occurring and I couldn’t pin-point a cause. It wasn’t the baby, it wasn’t really stress (although I’ve had better days) and I was fairly certain it wasn’t depression (but I’m no expert.) The best way I could classify this feeling was “lazy-disease”—I get up and shower everyday, make myself presentable, join the land of the living via play dates and errands, and keep my child happy and alive—but that was about it. After Web-MD’ing some of these symptoms, I was, of course, convinced that death was immanent.
After dragging myself reluctantly to the doctor’s and guilt-tripping myself into going for the blood work she would undoubtedly request—I decided to just bite the bullet, tell her all of my symptoms even the ones that seemed completely unrelated—and go for whatever labs she wanted. The next morning, the doctor called explained all my labs came back great and that it was probably just exhaustion (even the irritability)—she recommended a couple supplements to try and that was all.
Throughout this trying couple of weeks (and probably longer since I can’t really nail down when this all started) Andrew has been exceptional. He hasn’t come home and piled more things onto my “to-do list” and has picked up the slack with little-to no complaints. He’s stood strong when my insanity from “exhaustion” has gotten the better of me and withstood my temper with an even and calm demeanor. I knew I was acting a little out of control (but couldn’t help myself) and apologized—but he supported me, stood by me and tried to be understanding throughout it all.
Today, as we celebrate Father’s Day—I appreciate how strong of a man he is—he’s certainly not perfect but I definitely didn’t settle for him—he’s amazing. He’s a great father and a wonderful husband. He helps hold our life together when I can’t and makes our son his priority.
I recently read a blog post about dads who do not change diapers and I read mixed reactions to the post—to each their own—but the biggest takeaway from the post was “thank God that doesn’t describe Andrew”. He goes to work everyday works extremely hard for our family and then comes home and helps take care of our child. Even his “faults” can’t really be considered faults (remind me I said this next week). There is almost a method to his madness. I tease him for being a “work-a-holic” but I know he is driven by the desire to support our family and be a great role-model for our son. He works hard and he is constantly learning new technologies and looking for new opportunities to better himself and our family. He’s sometimes a few minutes late for minor non-important things because he gets stuck at work—but is that really a deal breaker? In the long run, no. No diaper duty? Deal breaker for this girl.
As I think of Andrew as a Father (as if that’s somehow a separate entity from Husband) I think of his BIG Dad moments: when we found out I was pregnant—he cried tears of joy, unabashedly let tears flow when we heard Baby T’s heartbeat for the first time, he attended ALL of the appointments and lab work appointments (this man sat through both the one and three hour gestational diabetes test because he knew needles terrified me), supported me through a natural childbirth and recovery (even daring to check my stitches), woke up and stayed awake during late night baby care, moved in with my family without a fight when our lives turned upside down because his office unexpectedly closed, commuted 2+ hours a day one-way to support our family in the transition, attends to Baby T’s bath and bedtime routine EVERY NIGHT…and the list goes on. I see genuine joy when he is with our son—that’s what reminds me I made the right choice—he is the RIGHT father for this family—the BEST husband for me. He’s certainly not perfect (is any man?) but he’s perfect for us and our family!
I know Father’s Day has become a Hallmark Holiday—where we celebrate with grand gifts and lavish outings—and the stress of such events can get to us (slowly puts hand in the air) but it’s very important to remember the FATHER part of Father’s Day—remember the things that your partner is great at—not their downfalls.
What makes your partner GREAT?
Happy Father’s Day to all the folks that fill the “fatherly” roles in our lives!
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