If you asked my what my life was like before Baby T was born–I’d have to really think about it–long and hard. It’s funny, after a while, it seems like they’ve been a part of your life and routine forever. I know we went to dinner a lot, late night shopping trips were the norm and we could easily (and quickly) pack up and head out for a spontaneous day trip. Now, it’s a chore to do mundane tasks like grocery shopping. Even though I LOVE having a sidekick, the actual in and out of the car seat, plus trying to keep him relaxed, calm and occupied in the store, is kind of a pain when you just need milk and lunch meat. Our lives have been transformed–we are chained to the house between the hours of 8pm-8am–and we are well aware that if we deviate, there will be hell to pay. I’m sure I don’t need to go on, you probably know exactly what I am talking about.
So now that my marriage and home are dominated by a tiny, sometimes tantrum-throwing toddler, my husband and I find it hard to relate to each other. Most nights after dinner and Baby T’s bedtime routine–we sit on opposite ends of the couch on our phones/computers zombie-ing out while watching tv. So we’ve decided that AT LEAST once a month we have to have a night out to ourselves. Last month, we were blessed with TWO that were completely Baby Free thanks to my parents who took him overnight (Haha joke was on them)–and IT WAS GLORIOUS! It was like a whole world that we FORGOT about was brought to our attention–we dressed up, met friends for a SLOW and lovely dinner (complete with a few cocktails), had time to go somewhere else for some coffee and dessert–it was magical! Our anniversary was a few weeks later, and we decided to go out solo again–we had a delicious meal at what qualifies to us as a “swanky” joint–and were able to reconnect as a couple. For me, it actually felt like we were on a date–in fact, it was kind of awkward trying to come up with things to talk about–but in an okay way because it was nice to have quiet moments together. We didn’t need to fill every second with talk. (I already snagged the guy, so I didn’t need to dazzle him with my wits and personality!)
As a Stay-at-Home Mom my identity is really intertwined with Baby T’s–so it’s hard to remember who I was and still AM without him–but alas that’s another post! Having a date night helped me regain some of that perspective–I highly recommend it if you’re feeling a little more Mom and a little less Wife/Individual. Now if only we could find a local sitter!
Does anyone else feel a little haggard and disconnected from their partner after a day full of diapers and tantrums? How do you reconnect?
If you liked this post make sure to follow Mompson on Facebook www.facebook.com/mompson and/or Twitter @mompson