So Moms’ Group resumed this week and I think I’ve made some interesting and perhaps poignant observations about moms and how we view each other in social situations. A professor of mine once told me when you are at a loss in terms of understanding the actions of others, to take on the role of a scientist and try to dig deeper and discover why they are doing what they are doing.
So I’ve been out of touch lately, partly because I’ve been lacking inspiration but mostly because I’ve been lacking energy. About a week ago, I realized that I haven’t been sleeping well (ie: laying awake for hours while sleep alluded me), was lashing out at my poor patient as-ever husband and feeling like I had “lazy-disease”. With an annual physical looming I tried to remember how long it had been like this–what scared me the most was that I couldn’t remember. I couldn’t pin-point how long the insomnia (if you could call it that) had been occurring and I couldn’t pin-point a cause. It wasn’t the baby, it wasn’t really stress (although I’ve had better days) and I was fairly certain it wasn’t depression (but I’m no expert.) The best way I could classify this feeling was “lazy-disease”—I get up and shower everyday, make myself presentable, join the land of the living via play dates and errands, and keep my child happy and alive—but that was about it. After Web-MD’ing some of these symptoms, I was, of course, convinced that death was immanent. Continue reading